Mango Sauce Part V
Faith is a funnier word than hope. I hope for a lot of things, but it is faith that fuels Brownstone Cool. It is faith that has also burned Brownstone in the past. It is a highly volatile, erratic mode of being / thinking to concede to faith, alone.
When Mango and I had something undeniable going on (see: chemistry), it became a difficult matter to turn my back on - especially after our “talk” a couple of weeks ago. I was bummed that things were a no-go, but I held onto faith as my only glimmer of recourse. The one thing that was clear in this case, was that “the talk” was very Mango-centric. So her ground was established. Mine wasn’t. And I was willing to live with that. I didn’t want to come in and complicate things for her - I was happy that we were now on speaking terms again and I had faith that eventually, I would have my word.
Eventually came only seven days later when we decided to meet for dinner and drinks on a lazy Wednesday night last week. It was to be light and uncomplicated - and it was. We had a tasty Brazillian dinner in midtown and then hit up a local lounge to unwind a bit. A comfortable couch + two glasses of Jack for me + one fruity-concoction for her = resulting into her imploring me to give her my take on everything. Where Brownstone stands. How I feel. With no hesitation, I laid it into her. I did not hold back on anything. I showed her the origin of that faith.
And Mango sat there, doe-eyed and impressed. I guess she is used to shifty guys but I am not afraid of discussing matters of the heart. Scratch that, it wasn’t heart at all. In fact, I emphasized how faith and instinct were the driving forces behind most of my post-divorce decision-making. Nothing was really surprising as I hadn’t been hiding anything from her - but she was more impressed about my unwavering intentions, particularly after our first meltdown. The breakthrough moment came when she realized that these intentions were real, and not forced as she first incorrectly surmised during the winter. It was realized that words were meaningless, and everything was right in front of us. All it took was a little understanding and faith.
Mango and I kissed - passionately. Just like we did back in January. The 7+ month gap fluttered away and became instantly inconsequential. Though it was happening, I could feel a small rush of confusion coming at me. She had her stance (she wanted time / didn’t look to get involved anytime soon). I had mine (i wanted her / but didn’t want to complicate things) yet things weren’t exactly magically sutured by liplocking. Nevertheless, it was a (re)start. Last night we saw a movie. I had a rubber band around my wrist that I had forgotten all about, pulled from a document at work. She started playing with the rubber band while holding my hand and at one point we finagled the rubber band where it was around both of our hands at once.
Brownstone: A ha! You are all mine now!
Mango: Forever?
Brownstone: Is that an issue?
Mango: No. (smiles and kisses Brownstone)
Though the decree has not been chiseled into massive stone tablets, I think it is safe to assume that Mango and Brownstone are indeed together again - this time operating on pure faith - in one another.
Tags » Mango
I have faith that I will barf pretty soon
(form the ever pessimist on women who can’t make up their minds and drive us crazy - er, you know who this is)
How I feel. With no hesitation, I laid it into her. I did not hold back on anything. I showed her the origin of that faith.
Nothing was really surprising as I hadn’t been hiding anything from her
This is a rare move by and a rare trait in men. You’ve got it goin’ on!
Congrats, man. Sometimes you lay it on the line and it all works out. I’m rooting for you. And can’t wait to read more to see how things progress.
good for you! I agree wiht Ha Ha Sound, I cant wait to read more to see how things progress!
Honest…
Straight forward…
you put it out there…
…And she went for it
I would say good job, but its just job it’s an adventure
whoa baby! look at you! go you!
I am so happy for you…wow-wa-we-wa!
she couldnt resist the studley’ness
after all huh
Aaaw yeay! So glad to hear things are finally going right!
Wow.. How great for you both. l would also like to add your writing is absolutely beautiful! You sound like a lovely guy and l think it is so good that you put it all out there, we need more men like this in the world.
beantown: i hardly think i am a pessimist. just because i chronicle my crazy exploits doesn’t mean i don’t believe something good will turn out. otherwise, what’s the point? lucy dee: thanks for the props. it really shouldn’t be rare. men suck if it is. haha/naruto/doubled: thanks, i am elated. nycponderings: i have to confess, it was the “axe effect” (just kidding). model behavior: meeee too! major sigh of relief. cleopantha: thanks for the props on my writing. it’s the only thing i love doing. and thanks for the kind words about me. there are more like me in the world, i can assure you. i am hardly a rarity.
I think you should forget about Mango and join an online dating site like eHarmony or go to a speed dating event.
awww. what a lovely story. glad you two ended up ‘bridging the gap’.
and how cool of a nickname is Mango? just sounds sweet. lol.
hey! come by and check out my photo shoot pics i did over the weekend…they’re sooo flyy. lol
oh, and I WON Best Fictional!! how cool am i??
thanks for the support.
peaces!
so now that you’re one of those gross happy couples you don’t post anymore?
not cool.
I agree with MB. All of us neurotic single New Yorkers have one less good blog to read now.
Ha Ha and MB… I promise there will be more posts. I have just been catching up with everything after taking a week off from work. There are quite a few stories I have yet to share.